Sermon from the shingles...Child's laughter...

We were in the laundry room, which also houses the two cat boxes I had just cleaned. Izzy came in to investigate.
Izzy: "whatcha doin,?"
Daddy: "Cleaning up the cat box, it's full and gross."
Izzy:"Why are you cleaning it?"
Daddy:"It's where Gizmo and Brooklyn go to the bathroom and since they can't flush it, it needs to be cleaned out."
Izzy:(she thought about this one for a minute) "Oh, so did Gimmo shit in here or what?"






We were having our roof done and there were bundles of shingles around our yard. Izzy naturally incorporated all of them into her routine and playtime outside began to take an interesting turn. I was cutting the lawn and I saw her out of the corner of my eye, standing on one of the bundles, gesticulating wildly. I shut the lawnmower off and tried to make sure she didn't notice me or the show would have ended.
"If you don't listen to me, you would be in BIG TROUBLE!" she intoned. Her arms were raised to the heavens and she pointed at the masses that were obviously showing their adoration and craning the necks to hang on her every word.
"BIG TROUBLE" she warned again. (she was actually working the crowd that only she could see, moving from person to person, wagging her finger at them)
I thought I detected a resemblance to Mussolini at a few spots during all of this as she folded her arms and glared toward the invisible crowd but I never did hear anything about Ethiopia so decided the world needn't worry just yet. Instead, it appeared she was channelling a televangelist, warning the unseen worshipers about the consequences of failing to listen to her.
We are not a religious family by any stretch. Rather we tend to be pushed out the front door by fate. If fate has selected my daughter to be the next Billy Graham, I'm OK with it. None of those televangelist people are starving to death or wearing old rags...Daddy's little blasphemer has a nice ring to it...


We are all animals, some of us more than others but we share so many similarities with the rest of the mammals that I an scarcely believe it sometimes. For example, there isn't a mother on this planet, from Pygmy Chimpanzee to Chibougamu house Frau, that doesn't have that insane ability to pick their child out of a crowd of thousands with pinpoint accuracy, the second their child is crying. It's uncanny that a mother can do this and be correct virtually 100% of the time.
Father's don't have this ability. Many fathers, human and animal alike, pack it in after the lovin' is done and the last cigarette has been smoked. I honestly don't get this. I mean I get it, It is a huge thing to be responsible for another life...for the rest of your life, literally but after almost five years with them I cannot honestly picture my life without the kids. They are such an all consuming, crying, shitting, spitting up, frustrating, fun-filled, wouldn't have it any other way part of my life. But I'm wandering away from the point. I cannot recognize Izzy's cry from a crowd of children but get her to laugh and I can home in on her with the precision of a laser sight. It's easy...she has my laugh.
Mrs. Narrator likes it when Izzy and other kids too for that matter , are laughing that big, out of control belly laugh that will turn into a case of room wide giggles and spread like wild fire. Babies especially are masters of this. And those laughs are good, hell all children's laughter is good. It's what kids should do more often. I have to say though, that my favourite kind of laughter comes from a sincerity and honesty that only a kid can display and Izzy is just such a kid.
When Izzy hears something funny that she knows absolutely is incorrect, she will cover her mouth to avoid any further embarrassment to the person saying it. No one ever taught her this and she does this only in this circumstance, so I believe her reaction is genuine. We were driving along one day when a commercial came on the radio that talked about a perfect world and how pants would be followed by the word "optional" and how bacon would grow on trees. With that, Izzy's hand came up to her mouth and she giggled a little.
"Daddy," she said. "He's funny. Everybody knows bacon doesn't grow on trees (sicker, snicker) it grows on the stove."...