We were standing in the kitchen discussing the habits of clean children.
Daddy: "You need to clean up after yourself."
Isobel: "I do clean up after myself."
Daddy: "When?"
Isobel: "lots of times. Can I make a table bed?"
Daddy: "What's a table bed?"
Isobel: "That's where I make a bed on the table and lie down on it. Only that accidentally turned into a fort."
Daddy:"You guys made a fort last night?"
Isobel: "Nope, just me. And I cleaned it up."
Daddy: "I knew you did something, the chair cushions were all turned over."
Isobel: "You saw the chair....this conversation is over, I need to go to the bathroom. And it's a number three."
I always knew that this thing would take on a life of its own, it practically had one from the very beginning. Somebody once asked me if I would still write this if nobody was reading it and I replied that 'when I started it, I didn't think anybody was reading it. I write, I have always written...in one form or another...
About twenty years ago, I was living in a basement apartment, trying to eek out a living a s a writer or musician while working in a meat plant. I managed to do a little freelance work here and there and the band I was playing in had a steady Saturday gig and the occasional out of town show. It was just what I wanted in the beginning but my heart began to walk away from it. It wanted more out of life and this band and this freelancing just wasn't going to provide it. I had decided to pack it in, maybe start something else.
Ironically, I got a phone call from the singer of a band I had seen a few times. He had mentioned their last bass player had just quit and they wanted me to fill in. Maybe permanently. That they were making approximately what I was making in the factory and wanted to know if I was interested. (For the record, they had actually called every bass player they could think of and when none of them were available, they called me. I was their last choice. AND were didn't make even close to what I was making min the meat factory...at least I wasn't) But I jumped at it, it was a chance to get the hell out of dodge and experience the world beyond my front door. Even if it was for crap pay.
For six and a half years, we cruised up and down the I90 playing everywhere that would have us. We slept on floor and couches and in side the van and eventually, in hotel suites of our very own. We were making decent money (all of us) and then the other shoe dropped. The tension between the singer and I was becoming unbearable. I had a lot on my mind, my first marriage was falling apart and the singer and I were essentially the same person. And we rubbed each other the wrong way frequently. And though I never said anything to the other two in the band, I was beginning to hear rumours about my pay scale versus theirs and I had had enough. Thinking it would save my marriage(which of course it did not,) I quit the band.
I was fully prepared to return to Pittsburgh to repair my marriage or maybe even to Canada to start completely over in my hometown. I gave myself a year to figure something out...and then I met my hetero life partner. He was in much the same position as I was. He had just left a band that he was fed up with and was burnt out from playing endless shows in front of people who were just as sick of hearing the songs as you were of playing them. We jokingly said we should start a band of our own. But the jokes became more serious and we started to think we could actually pull it off. We talked about starting it for almost the whole year I had given myself to change something, before we actually did something about it.
But what we did...It was everything I needed, everything I thought a band should be for me. It was friendship, professionalism, great talent and a massive vehicle for my songs and writing. Playing with the band I had just left, I had amassed a large backlog of material that was just dying to see the light of day. We tried to do it as a power trio by adding a guitar player but quickly realized we needed someone to sing who could better pull off the duties of a front man. We became a quartet and the earth began to shake beneath out feet.
We quickly became legends around the local music scene. Legendary not only for our blistering live performances but for our entirely hedonistic rock and roll behaviour. We were all rock stars, all of us and we all lived the part to the fullest. It was brilliant, it was fast and frightening...it was.
Fast forward now ten years later and we are preparing to play our ten year anniversary show. I went down this past weekend for rehearsals. (which went surprisingly well considering none of us had played the music and I hadn`t touched a bass since the last reunion two years ago)
I got to see most of my band mates and time is moving on for all of us. Some of us are greying, some of us are thinning and 3/4 of us are married though I am the only parent thus far. I also got to cross paths with many people I hadn't seen in many years. And they all had virtually the same thing to say. Not 'looking forward to the show,' or 'damn it's good to see you again,' or even 'where is the god-damned money you owe me?' which could have been a defi
nite possibility considering my financial state when I left.
No what I was greeted with most this past weekend was 'Where's Isobel?' and 'Oh I read you column all the time!' and 'that kid is the funniest person I have ever read about, you must spend all day laughing.' Even the owner of the bar where we are playing the reunion show, a man I haven`t seen in a long time asked 'where is that crazy drunken wife of yours(a story for another time involving bees and booze and derby girls) and that rock star of a daughter?' And there he said it...the student has eclipsed the master...I think I always knew I would lose the crown eventually. I just didn't figure she would be five when she took it off my head...Guess I'll just have to sit back and enjoy the ride...and keep my notebook handy
So you can't go on a trip and not come home with gifts of one sort or another. The kids would never let me in the house empty handed. I told both of them that I would bring them something home from New York when I went. The Boy thought I was going to go to FAO Schwarz and was disappointed to find out that that particular store is in New York City and that I was going to Rochester. He wanted something never the less. I figures he might. It is often difficult to explain to your non parent friends the earth shattering importance of bringing home things for the children when you take a trip. But for his part, my drummer took it all in stride and helped me get to the store in the mall I needed to get to.
There is a chain of stores in the States that carries goth and punk themed clothing for the hip urban teen. It also carries the t-shirts of a band that Isobel is in love with. The choice was clear for what to get her. I also knew what to get the Boy this time around. He usually presents a rather large and fussy road block of what to get him but he had been dropping not so subtle hints when I left... I was besieged as soon as I walked in the door
"What did you get us?" and never being one to disappoint, I told Izzy to close her eyes while I rummaged through the shopping bag they had already found. I held up the Who t-shirt I had bought for myself and the look on her face was the same look I imagine I would have gotten if I handed her a teddy bear smeared in poo.
"Oh wait, that's mine." I said pretending to play dumb(pretending?) "close your eyes again."
This time I held out the correct shirt and she let out a squeal when she saw it. A Black Veil Brides shirt with all the members of the band in full make up and full glory. She hasn't taken it off since...It is the size of a prom dress.
I told the Boy to close his eyes. Knowing full well that he was expecting me to have gotten him Lego, I wasn't surprised when he held out both hands. I gently put the small package in his hands and told him to open his eyes. He erupted with joy. To the point I actually though he was going to cry. I got him the sequel to one of his favourite video games...it also has not been off since I got home.
Last night Isobel woke up with a start.She thought she had heard thunder and she called out to me. Something she hasn't done it sometime. I was still asleep and so naturally ran downstairs looking for her. When I finally got to her room, I told I went downstairs looking for her.
"Why would I go downstairs in the middle of the night?" she asked.
Cool Dad returns.
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