Is that it?...What do you give the girl who has everything?...

We were playing a game in which she was evil. With all things evil comes an evil laugh, of course.
Isobel: "My friend Candace thinks she has an evil laugh.
Daddy: "And?"
Isobel: "It's not evil at all. Her laugh just sounds mad. HA! HA! HA! That's what her laugh sounds like."
Daddy: "And what does an evil laugh sound like?"
Isobel: "You know, evil. Like a sister."
Daddy: "A sister?'
Isobel: "Like the Grinch laughed a sister laugh."
Daddy: "Do you mean SINISTER?"
Isobel: "Maybe."
Daddy: "Show me your evil laugh and I'll tell you if it is sinister."
Isobel: "Muahahahah!!! (the laugh was punctuated with a small poot)
Daddy: "I guess you laughed a little more evil than you thought?"
Isobel: "Was it a sister laugh?"
Daddy: "It smells pretty sister."


This is the way the world ends...not with a bang but a whimper...
True words especially at this time of year. It seems kids and some adults as well, spend months and months gearing up and preparing for the big holiday, the holiest of the holy gift giving glut, only to have it end in a heartbeat. Much the same was true around our house this Christmas.
Both kids dutifully wrote their letters to Santa this year as soon as the reminder signs went up at the post office (shortly after Halloween if memory serves). The Boy is starting to catch on that his Mother and I may actually be the fat man but wrote a persuasive and descriptive letter none the less. He might be getting older but he isn't fool enough to risk his Christmas loot on a hunch.
The Sears toy catalogue's arrival usually signals the actual beginning of the Christmas season and the kids begin pouring over it day after day, making their lists, checking, revising... ah the endless revising...I remember it well. All the hoping, the wishing and planning seems to go on forever and if you think about it, kids are caught up smack in the middle of all the crap you always hear people bitching about. "Halloween just ended and they are putting up the Christmas crap already!"
And though that statement may equate exasperation to you and me, to a kid it is desperation. The clock is ticking and the Fat man is watching! So for two solid moths they are inundated with commercials and ads about the best and latest and must haves for the year and they fall for it hook line and sinker. My kids too, for the most part.
But for all their excitement, all the build up over those two months, it's over like that. Not over with a big exciting KABANG! like a balloon popping but usually like a balloon running out of air. Flickering around the room for a minute or two and then farting out the last of its pizazz in a corner somewhere.
Izzy was the first one up and was so overcome with excitement, she began to open her presents before anyone else had come into the living room. Fifteen minutes later she sat in the middle of a pile of shredded multi-coloured paper with a dejected look on her face.
It wasn't that she didn't get what she wanted, she did. "I ordered this on the computer!" she exclaimed as she opened one of her packages. It just seems now that she had built up Christmas to be this massive get everything be happy all day kind of affair. It wasn't and never is but I don't think anyone ever told her that...how can you?
Before this turns into something maudlin, it isn't. Christmas was a wonderful happy time this year. And Izzy and The Boy were totally spoiled and totally grateful and totally happy with every present they got. This was the first Christmas that Izzy actively participated in. We didn't guess at anything this year, she told us everything ( or nearly everything) that she wanted, she made up her own toys r us wish list and that is what we picked from. I just think you have a tendency to build things up in your mind and when they don't turn out the way you envision them, it puts a bit of a hole in your spiritual parachute. Not anything life threatening but maybe a slight nick in the armour.
But as I said, it was a happy and warm occasion for all of us and if I take away anything, any memories of this year's holiday it will be A) The Boy, for as old as he is getting, will still squeal with delight in a register that is nearly inaudible when he gets a particularly exciting gift. Like and XBOX 360 with kinnect. B) The Boy is a master of Lego. he gets it every year and if we are at a relative's house, he will have built the Lego before we leave to go home. Regardless of the duration of our stay or the size of the Lego. He also know the price of virtually every piece of Lego over $150.00, much to the delight of everyone. (Particularly kind Aunts who buy said Lego) C) Isobel will naturally gravitate to the most artistic and basic of her Christmas presents regardless of all the cool electronical things she got. Mp3 players with video capabilities and Barbie Blackberry like learning toys are nowhere near as cool as purses you can colour yourself or a Barbie head who's hair you can style. Or even better turning yourself into the tattooed lady with a few stencils and a handful of markers...But it is about the kids after all, right? Maybe she'll lend me one of the markers to scribble out my credit card bill.


I mentioned somewhere in one of these posts that Izzy had a fully developed sense of humour from very early on. I think I mentioned it...maybe I didn't, I am getting on after all. I seem to remember saying that all she would need to have her own television show would be her own laugh track...Now she has one. Courtesy of The Boy's aunt. Since Christmas Morning we have been applauded for monumental feats such as 'The Pouring of The Cereal' and 'The Mid Morning Exercise'.
She now has her own game show where she is the host and the minions laugh at all her jokes.(the minions must be rejoicing for the voices that we can all hear now) The skill testing questions are met with applause and cheers for a correct answer or the familiar losers 'WAH-wah' for incorrect answers. I don't want to say the game is rigged but I am on such intimate terms with the 'WAH-wah' sound that I am starting to hear it in my sleep.
There are rim shot sounds and whistles and breaking glass and gunshots and many other sound effects that you would expect to find one of these things. Today I noticed her staring at it and I could see the wheels turning. I went back to whatever I was doing when the wheels stopped.
"(Fart noise) "Thank-you Jesus. (Scream) Thank-you Jesus (Fart noise) Thank-you Jesus (Scream) Thank-you Jesus."
It was really just a matter of time...I can't wait 'til school starts again.