Daddy: "What do you want to be for Halloween?"
Isobel: " I want to be a scary clown in a mask, so I can scare the crap out of you."
Daddy: "You wont just scare me."
Isobel: "Really?"
Daddy: "Oh my god yes. Many people are afraid of clowns."
Isobel: :OK, seriously I want to be a scary clown."
Daddy: "Really? Is that really what you want to be? Don't pick a costume because you think it is going to scare me, pick what you want to wear."
Isobel: (Looking at Zombie cheerleader costume) "I want to be a zombie cheerleader but you'll say no."
Daddy: "Why would I say no?"
Isobel: "Because I want to have my neck open and bleeding."
Daddy: "OK, we can do that."
Isobel: "Really!?"
Daddy: "Really."
Isobel: "Coool."
It is said, that all that is needed for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. I don't know that I am any more good than any other man and I am likely to ramble but I have an audience and I feel I can't sit back and do nothing anymore...
By now there are very few who haven't heard the name Amanda Todd, at least not on this side of the border. She was a fifteen year old girl who was bullied to death, literally. She felt she had no alternative nor any place to turn and so took her life last week. I did not know Amanda nor was she even from my home province but she was somebody's kid and now she is dead...and for what?
I think what disturbs me most about this, is the absolute depths of depravity people have been sinking to. The vile and vitriolic remarks posted on her memorial wall. It saddens and shames me that there are people this senseless.
Hilary Clinton wrote that it takes a village to raise a child. When I first read that I thought it was hippy clap trap. More touchy feely shite that doesn't mean anything to anyone other than the voting public. BUT then I became a parent and I got it. We as parents are the village it is our responsibility to raise our children to become better people and carry it on to their children and so on. And we as a parental society have failed Amanda Todd and every other kid who thought they had no alternative to take their own life.
I understand bullying, I don't like it or approve of it but I get it. I used to think it was a survival of the fittest thing. It's human nature to point out things that are different and it's a defense mechanism to mock things you are afraid of or that you perceive as different but I was wrong. It's not Darwinian to kick somebody when they're down., it's cruelty of the highest order.
When I was younger bullies picked on you at school and then you went home and all was well. I also remember that there was a kid who I went to school with who's mother got wind of what he was up to. The next day he came to school and apologized in front of the class. he was not much of a bully after that. But there is a different element now...anonymity. All thanks to cell phones and the Internet. Why stop when you can make somebody's life miserable over and over and over and no one will ever know? It doesn't end, social media has made it possible to be bullied day and night ad nauseum and all with a crystal clear conscience.
I have heard a couple of times from a couple of people that "this kind of bullying is just like any other. it's just a phase that they go through and that they'll grow out of it."
I asked Mrs. narrator if she thought that our kids could ever be capable of being that cruel. Her answer was a resounding no. Do you know why? Because we have always instilled in the children that everyone has the right to be who and what they are. My god, our family is a postcard for diversity. I'll tell you something folks and it's free from me to you; Cruelty is not a fucking phase. It's a learned behaviour and if you don't nip it in the bud, it grows into very cruel adults who think it's OK to ask a twelve year old girl with esteem issues to lift up her shirt on a fucking web cam. Where were the mothers to make people like that apologize to the whole class?
I am sorry but if you are arming your child with a device that will allow them to be horrific to people guilt free, then you are as much to blame for the actions they commit. Yes, it's a knee jerk reaction to horrible thing but guess what? It's true. The Boy is on the Internet almost more than Mrs. Narrator and I combined but is he saying and doing things he shouldn't? No because he is monitored and his Internet access is monitored. Is it a complete solution? No but it's a start.
And I think that is where it needs to start. We seem to have shifted very far away from the responsibilities of being a parent in favour of becoming your child's best friend. I am not, nor will I ever be, my children's best friend. I don't want to be. I am their father and they both know that if they screw up they will answer for it. I have never hit my children nor threatened them with hitting and I still know that both of them will do the right thing because it is the right thing, not because they are afraid to do the wrong thing.
It's an odd thing to say but your children aren't people, stop treating them as though they are. Your children are your children-your responsibility. Start taking an interest in what they are up to when they are on their computers. Maybe we should start charging the parents of children in bullying cases. The plain truth is if we don't do something to steer our children back to the fundamental differences between what is right and wrong, I weep for the future and I am absolutely shitting myself thinking of what is in store for my generation when we can no longer care for ourselves and we are left in the hands of the people who think it is alright to lampoon a child who commits suicide.
So, we have this thing around here called 'Scream Park'. Izzy asked me about it and I explained that it is "A haunted house kind of thing."
"What do you mean?" she asked. "Like real ghosts and stuff?"
"No, Pick." I explained. "It's a fake haunted house where all the lights are out, except for scary lights and people jump out and try to scare you."
"Oh," she asked. "Can we go to it?"
I thought about it and I knew from several reliable sources, (my brother and his kid and a friend and his brood) that it is and I quote " Bad f*#@ing Scary!" My first reaction was that it as perfect to put a scare into her but then I went on the website to look for prices. On the upper left of the screen is the number 817. Eight hundred and seventeen brave souls shit themselves and ran out before they completed the Scream Park attraction.
I reconsidered and started leaning toward a nice peaceful haunted hayride. But she kept at it.
"Can we go to Scream Park?" she asked me.
"I don't know pick, it's pretty scary I think."
"I'm not scared." she said and she meant it.
"There are people going to jump out at you are scream."
"What if I bring an axe?" she asked.
"You're not meant to hurt the people in the park."
"Then they better not jump at me, I have an axe." she said.
OK, so she's a tough kid but it would do her in, completely and totally and scar her for life. If I am going to leave that sort of mental mark it better be over something more than just Halloween hi jinx. So I thought I would test a little theory. This afternoon, I screamed. Not a big scream but a scream nonetheless. It was broad daylight and she was upstairs in her room. I screamed and then she screamed and ran out of her room and she was scared. Holy crap was she scared.
"Don't tell your mother," I said and hugged her and calmed her down and assured her that Scream Park would still be there when she was ready for it.Tonight when I was saying goodnight, I asked her; "Are you still scared?"
"Nope." she said.
"Are you still mad at me for scaring you?"
"Nope." she said but I knew there was something else.
"What's the matter then?"
"You know I'm going to scare you back, right?"
"I would expect nothing less." I said. Thinking what can a six year old do to scare me? Then I remembered that this was my kid but even scarier, she is Mrs. Narrator's kid too...moody, patient and devious. I won't sleep well until Halloween is over...
No comments:
Post a Comment