Isobel: "Daddy, can I get the mail by myself?"
Daddy: "Yep, I think you can do it."
Isobel: "Yay. I can get the mai-al, all by my se-elf."
Daddy: "You're growing up too fast."
Isobel: "I'm growing uh-up, too fa-ast."
Daddy: "OK, go get it but be careful."
Isobel: (after a few minutes) "Daddy, I got one of these."
Daddy: "You know what to do, take it up to the counter and she'll give you a package for it."
Isobel: "Really, I can go get it?"
Daddy: "Yep, go ahead Pick."
Isobel: "Yay. I'm getting the pack-age."
Daddy: (after another few minutes) "Where's the package?"
Isobel: "I'm not that grown up yet."
Sometimes it rains here at The Blue Chair and sometimes it pours. Sometimes I fret and panic about what to put in this week's column and sometimes it falls in my lap. This was a week of lap landings. Last week I was nearly overwhelmed with the things that Isobel had given me. So much so, that I had to decide what to print and what not to. So it seems that this week is sort of a continuation of last week but also contains a nice little bonus.
Isobel had written a project for school which I had always intended to publish. She had put it away so I asked where she had put it. I looked where she told me it was and lo and behold, came across a letter to Santa (the actual jolly elf, not her most trusted lieutenant) that I had somehow missed. So in the midst of a heat wave, let's think of the wintry things that are, really, just around the corner at any given moment...but first.
Isobel is getting to the age now where homework is starting to take on a degree of logic. I mean it isn't just ABC's and see Clifford, Spot and Dick. Rather they are actual 'projects'. Things that require research of a degree and compilation of seven year old thoughts. So when she brought this home, beaming all the while, I had to be impressed. I think you will be too.
Behold the steel trap mind of my progeny.
ANIMAL REPORT
Written By Isobel
(annotations by S. Baker)
Page one) All About Horseis-surgiray tusog (It looks as though she is practicing cursive writing. Did I mention Isobel cannot write cursive? we are all proud of her for this great leap forward.) There is a picture of a hairy sausage leaning off the one end of a chesterfield and a black scarf hanging off the other.
Page two) Diagram of Animal-Horse (staying the course, good so far and it's only page two) More cursive practice...Isrvedez? The picture is decidedly more horse like with anatomical explanationsall around it; Mane (goes without saying) Witheres ride ewear the back an & ne.( I'm gathering this type of horse may carry sheep about on it's witheres and go 'an & ne') Long tail (Long tail) Long nous suter nex (This either has to do with the horse having a long nose and neck or she wants to hang a horse) There also may or may not be a swastika in the middle of the horse...could be more cursive. either way, I think we should keep an eye on her.
Page three) Habitat-My animal's habitat is; Medows. (I think this is in New Jersey.) There is a picture of a great big blue sky and a bright yellow ground. (This is definitely New Jersey)
Page four) Food: My animal is a Horse. They like to eat; Ants(umm...) Grass (OK) Holy (Sure this could be hay and probably is but it puts a whole new spin religion. Out of the mouths of babes, right?)
Page five) Fun Facts; Horses are fast runners the worlds horse in vedvealold it ifrsitment switolrunine (Horses are fast runners and Isobels get distracted easily)
Pepole holve used horsis to care lads (Like that movie War Horse, That horse loved his lad)
Horses are cloly reladed to rillsorss and taprds (We couldn't afford horses when I was a boy so
we kept a couple of their close relatives, the taprd on a farm we lived on)
A Horses brain is nalf as much a humins branie (Horses are stupid nasty beasts)
Page six) Size of the Horse
Length: 6 incis
Weight: 50 pounds
Height: 12 Height (Must be the new super mini pony I've heard so much about)
Neat facts: Horses eat hay and medow crosses. (Hey Peter, I can see your house from up here) Horses can run very folst.
Page seven) Definition: A horse can run up to ge mlells and jump of medos. ( the whole medos?)
Habitat; A habitat is a home for an annimill.
Horse; an animel.
Ah...I can hear Marlin Perkins' voice now..."Whike I stay here in the relative safety of this duck blind, Isobel will attempt to re-enact the crucifixion using this palomino."
And so, on to the found gold...I leave this one in it's original form.
Dear Santa,
I hope your rander are feline. Well. for ther chrismas jerny.
I bet you are tired daulvering all of thos presits on chrismas. How is Mirs clus in the north poel.
I hope you are warm in the north pole.
I hope you like the ckices I set out for you p.s Do you like Coco becus I do.
I hope I get a lot of presis for chrismas
p.s can you tell mis clus to get me some presis.
Love from Isobel.
One of the drawbacks of this new job of mine is that to work on the day shift means I have to get up at four a.m. This tends to put a damper on Isobel's crawling in with us. Mostly because the last time she did it, at about one thirty one night, I couldn't get back to sleep and I blew my stack. I'm not proud but I am human.
She still wakes up in the night and Mrs. Narrator will march her back to bed and stay with her until Izzy falls asleep and then come back to our bed. The last couple of shifts I have noticed that the second I head downstairs, Isobel is heading into our room to take my spot in the bed.
It's a little bit freaky and I sort of pictured her sitting there with an alarm clock in her room, bleary eyed and frantic. "For christ's sake old man, it's time to go get your shower."
I know very soon, I'm going to be awakened by a tapping on my forehead and a little girl saying;
"Daddy, it's time for you to go to work and I need to get some sleep. Can you get out now?"
My only question, would she take my grave as quick? If it was comfortable enough...I think she probably would....especially if it had skittles in it.
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