Holy Crap, Crappery and The Cider House Rules...

Izzy and I were watching "The Cider House Rules" one Sunday and a scene came on in which the two main characters make out. In typical Hollywood fashion, the girl leaned in, cocked her head, opened her mouth a little and kissed the boy. Izzy asked what she was doing and in typical smart- assed fashion, I said that the boy had something stuck in his teeth and the girl was helping him get it out. Micro seconds before the "How did he get something in his teeth?" question came, Mrs. Narrator said that lunch was ready and we all sat down to our tuna melt wraps.
After lunch, Izzy and I sat back down to watch t.v. and Izzy noticed I was contorting my face into the most bizarre expressions she had ever seen.
"What are you doing Daddy?" she asked. "I've got something stuck in my teeth." I replied.
There are few things in this life more disturbing than your daughter cocking her head to one side and leaning into your face with her mouth open wide.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Unstucking your teeth."





Music has always been a huge part of Izzy's life. From very early on, music could sway her mood and disposition the way nothing else could before or since. "Big music" she used to say, "I wanna hear Big Music" And she doesn't have the same tastes as the rest of her little girl friends seem to have. Oh she likes a song or two by Gaga and says she's likes Bieber but if you ask her who the coolest guy in the world is and she'll reply either The Bat (Gene Simmons) or Alice Cooper. She has a female video game character named Grandma Lemmy and she has a purple outfit that is kind of bell bottomed pants and wide open renaissance sleeves, which she calls her Ronnie James Dio clothes. She was watching Whitesnake on youtube one day and I asked,"What is this crappery you are watching?' Crappery is now a style of music as far as Izzy is concerned. Only it is pronounced crapARee. It includes the aforementioned Whitesnake, some Def Leppard, basically any of the kind of music I wouldn't have been caught dead listening to when I was a teenager...Then there is the make-up. Anything with make up. Kiss, King Diamond, Dimmu Borgir and other stuff I neither like nor understand. If it has someone in it that wears make-up, she will grab onto it like it was a chocolate doughnut. She absolutely loves the make-up bands. She wanted to be The Bat or The Coop for Halloween but wouldn't sit still long enough for the make-up, so I can't complain about her love for the theatrical. At least she didn't want to be my little pony which was right up there. I have since steered her toward GWAR whom she now loves, especially their version of School's out."Daddy, where's The Coop, this is not The Coop" my four year old asked the first time she saw the video. Now she just asks for "School's Out without The Coop." "Holy Crap" she would say if she really liked something. That was her expression for a while. Everything was "Holy Crap." Even "Holy Crap, the cat pewked on the crapet" We still call the rug by the back door the crapet.

We were in Mexico for the first time with Izzy and there was a Mariachi band playing at the hotel. Izzy really wanted to get up close to the band, this was the first time she had ever seen anyone play an instrument live. I picked her up and we walked up to see them, standing about two feet away from the bass player. Izzy sat there in stunned silence with a massive grin spreading on her face. Just drinking it all in. The song finished and Izzy joined in with everyone else as they clapped for the band. As the applause died down she said exuberantly, "Holy Crap that was a big music!"
The bass player was laughing so hard he nearly dropped his bass and bean dip was being spit back onto the plates of everyone within earshot...my baby is so Rock and Roll...