Nothing to see here...

I tend to be the manners police around our house and I don't really understand why. Yeah I get the irony too but I am a certified, tattoo sleeved member of Miss Manner's sinister six club. I suspect if word got out of what I used to do before, during and after shows, Miss M would point at the door and hang her head in shame after politely asking me to leave.
And it's not an admirable quality, it's not something I even like about myself. I ask for a lot of pleases and thank-yous but my particular milieu is excuse me. These are the things that I think, no parent likes about themselves. You can actually stand back and listen to yourself and think, "I have just crossed that invisible line, I have just become my mother." Now here's the real dichotomy of it all... I AM A GUY...I revel in bodily functions and I have been know to compliment the children on their abilities to vibrate the sound sphere with a good raucous belch or float an air biscuit that has the staying power Time magazine.
One day Izzy let one screech out with such force and volume, I swear the windows actually rattled. Inside I was bursting with pride, as only a father could be at a bottom burp of that magnitude.
"What do you say?" I asked, chuckling a bit.
She thought about it carefully and said,
"I would say, nothing to see here and just keep moving."